Everyone's Grandma

Grandma Betty loved to laugh. She was smart and a 4’10” spunky spitfire. Raised in a

humble home, she and her older brother were inseparable. They didn’t have a lot, but

they didn’t know it. Their close-knit family enjoyed rides in the country, visiting with

relatives, and for special fun, using a car hood as a make-shift sled.

Born Verna Louise Wilson, she graduated from high school and attended Catherman’s Business School locally, then moved to DC and lived in an all-female boarding house. She found herself working for the federal government, and eventually in the West Wing of Dwight Eisenhower’s White House.

It was common for young ladies at the time not to own a car, so she rode the train

for trips home to Cumberland. That is, until someone told her about a young man who

regularly drove from his work in DC to his home in Cumberland. From then on, Friday

evenings and Sunday afternoons, they made the 5-hour trip winding along old Route 40

together. And across the miles together, they fell in love.

In 1956, they were married in the little white country church in Pleasant Grove where she had grown up, and six years later welcomed a healthy baby boy into the world. She

made their home a warm haven for her much-loved husband and son. And she touched

her community. A lot. She led Cub Scout troops and accepted almost every role in that

little white church, from choir to administrative board for over 70 years. The community

fire hall was a close second to the church, so much so that her son grew up to be a

professional firefighter and a faithful life-time volunteer. When her beloved granddaughter came along, she was already in her early 70’s, but that didn’t stop her

from volunteering at the elementary school. The kids all called her Grandma Betty, and

their mutual affection kept her there 14 years, long after her granddaughter was out of

the school.

So touched so many. Truly everybody’s Grandma Betty, we want to think people like that will live forever. But increasingly as she got older, she would be hospitalized or move to rehab, and the family would think “she’ll never get well this time. Time after time, she managed to rebound, and she did return home – defying the odds

and still living independently at the age of 97!

However… in the fall of 2023, Grandma Betty started to fail, and this time would prove to be different. Although she was weak, immobile, and in pain, it still took serious convincing from her daughter-in-law to get this fiercely independent woman to the hospital. As the symptoms progressed, Grandma Betty once again took charge, very specifically, saying that she didn’t want to linger or be a burden on the family. Her son remembers, “Mom had absolutely no fear of dying; she had great faith. In fact, she said she was just worn out and tired. She was ready. We weren’t.”

As the family considered next steps, there seemed to be no good option. They couldn’t

meet Grandma Betty’s medical needs at home, and they dreaded the thought of having

her last days in a nursing home. Lisa Hout, in our Foundation, told them about our new private hospice suite in Devlin Manor skilled nursing facility. They called our hospice director, Candy Adams, and I’ll share the rest of the story in their words.

“We couldn’t believe what all Candy said about the suite and that it was actually open

and available to mom. Devlin is less than five minutes from our home. Our next

question was how are we going to pay for this? We were already so tired just sitting –

watching mom dying, and we couldn’t think of much else. When we learned that the

cost to stay at Devlin, which included hospice care for mom, would all be paid in full by

the Foundation, we were shocked and thankful. Mom entered Devlin’s private suite, with us by her side, on Thursday, October 26th .

It was very nice - two private rooms merged into one totally private area, with

comfortable furniture (soft recliners, couches), TV, sink, etc. We walked in, shut the

doors behind us, and stayed with her morning, noon and night. Visitors came and went

at all hours, and they were able to spend time with us and with mom – saying last

goodbyes. The nursing staff came in as they needed and gave us the privacy we

needed. Hospice staff were only a call away, and when we needed additional help with

mom, they came to see her face to face. One night, when mom was in pain and the

Devlin staff couldn’t calm her, we called hospice and they showed the nursing staff how

to make her more comfortable. Mom didn’t live long in the hospice suite, but it

provided what she - what we all needed. She passed away quietly early Saturday,

morning – October 28th , with me, my wife Cathy, and our daughter Amanda by her side.

Anything mom needed, or anything we needed, during those three days, Devlin and hospice staff took care of. Most of all, we had privacy. The care mom received was above all our expectations as we didn’t know such a place – a special hospice suite – even existed.

Two years ago, it didn’t. The Foundation created four special set-aside suites within area nursing homes in the summer of 2023, just months before Grandma Betty and her family needed it. Working with our truly special hospice and care coordination

teams, we partnered with skilled nursing facilities, furnished the rooms, and agreed to

pay the daily rate of care. Our Foundation Board allocated $125,000 this year for

patient care. As of this week, we’ve just completed our 4th hospice suite. We’re now in

also in Moran Manor in Westernport, Sterling Care in Frostburg, and Cumberland Healthcare on Winifred Road. To date, we’ve helped 45 families have the most respectful, compassionate end of life experience we can provide.